Musician Jokes

badges_facebook-smallSome new but most have been around since I played the wedding of Adam and Eve but one thing for sure they all poke fun at us musicians . . . Enjoy!

How do you get two piccolo players to play in perfect unison? Shoot one.

What’s the difference between a fiddle and a violin ? Who cares – neither one’s a guitar

How do you know when the stage is level? The drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

Did you hear about the guitarist who was in tune? No, Neither did I.

Why are so many guitarists jokes one liners? So the rest of the band can understand them.

What do you call a guitarist who breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.

How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch? Pay for the pizza.

How many guitar players does it take to cover a Stevie Ray Vaughn tune? Evidently all of them.

What do you do if your bassist is drowning? Throw him his amp.

What’s the difference between an oboe and an onion? No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

More coming soon. . .

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